OK, this time, I took him out of the tank, and stuck a toothpick in his mouth. At first, I just wanted to see how much it would open. But, then I stuck it in further, and I think I must have damaged him in some way.
When he went back in the tank, he wasn't swimming right. He went right to the bottom, and wouldn't move. I didn't know if he was barely still alive, or dead.
I settled on the decision that he was almost dead, and dumped out the water and flushed him down the toilet.
Tomorrow I'll start again with a new fish. And, I promise to treat him much better. I promise.
I know what I need to do. When I see myself being mean to the fish, I need to BREAK THE PATTERN. How? By doing something else. Anything else. Watching a movie, running, reading a book, anything that can get me away from the fish. If I need to, then I will take an anxiety pill. Anyway, the idea is to break the pattern, and get away from the fish.
They can take a lot of abuse, and I do mean a lot, as I have given them a lot of treatments and still see them swimming around. But, the part about taking the eyes out, wounding their flesh, this seems to be more than they can take. So, I've learned my lesson. I'll do better next time.
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