Day to day

I'm depressed a lot. Everybody only has so much time to spend with me, they have their own lives. Even my ex doesn't cheer me up always, sometimes she depresses me, but I think it's because she's somewhat depressed herself. And from what she told me about her life, I don't blame her.

I'm in some kind of hole that seems really hard to get out of. Somehow, I've got to dig my way out of this. But how to do it. That is always the question. I do know one thing that will help, that has a good probability of helping. But I haven't been able to get myself to do it. My time is running out. I never know how long I have. I have to find a way to get myself to do it. And fast.

I am the one who is going to get myself out of this. No one else is or can even do it for me. There certainly are worse situations to be in. So I shouldn't feel that bad. It could be better, of course. But I've got to work with what I've got. Too much time in my room. Too much time in the dark. I've done it to myself. But sometimes, I don't know what else to do. No one really reads this anyway. But it's really for me anyway, I suppose. Reflecting on my own thoughts.